Going Through The Motions

  This past Sunday, in church, Pastor Heath Cole told us that he was going to start praying and fasting on Tuesday, May 1 for 40 days and asked us if we would join him in “Praying for Pentecost”. I began to think about what I could fast from. I am already on a diet, so I don’t want to kill myself. I can’t fast from work, because I need the income. What could I give up? I even thought about doing without social media for 40 days, which is not a bad idea, even though I keep in touch with my youth that way.

Then it hit me. It’s not just about giving something up. Its about replacing what I give up with something else. Its about making a change. Its about emptying myself of something that is getting in the way of my relationship with God and filling it with something that makes that relationship more powerful!

I not only need to remove some things in my life. I also need to replace them with things that will honor God. Why have I not thought of this before?

I’m tired of going through the motions of Christianity. I’m tired of playing church on Sundays and Wednesday and doing my own thing the other days of the week. I’m tired of hearing people tell me that I’m a good Christian when I actually give God less than 20% of my time or myself.

I’m tired of putting other things in front of my God…the same God who gave up everything to make sure that I had everything. The same God who said “Here, Mike. I know that you won’t be able to be with me in Heaven on your own. I know your weaknesses. I know your struggles with sin. I know that you were born this way. I know that I only have one Son, but I love you enough to watch him suffer and die, just so you can be with me forever. I love you that much. Is it OK if I watch my Son die a cruel death for you? Can I do that for you? Please? Did I mention that I love you?”

Mark 8:36 – What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

Contemporary Christian artist Matthew West wrote and sings a song called “Motions” which addresses this very subject. This is the chorus:

I don’t wanna go through the motions, I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?”

 

I’m not doing this anymore. I don’t want to just go through the motions. I want to be all in. I want my prayers to mean something when they reach Heaven’s ears. I want God to say “You sure have kept me busy up here, my son.”

What are you fasting?

Focus, Focus, Focus

When my daughter was very young, she was like most children. She had trouble paying attention to what she was being told or what she was reading. Her brain was all over the place as everything caught her attention. There were times that I stepped in and helped her see or hear what I thought she needed to see or hear.

“Focus, focus”, I would tell her. I’m not sure where I got that from, because I don’t really remember my parents saying that to me. But, I can promise you that my daughter remembers it.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Proverbs 3:5.  Lots of people love this verse…the whole verse…..as long as verse 6 is there as well. Don’t get me wrong. Verse 6 is important too. “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

When we get lost in life, we want God to show us which way to go. I have been there many times. I have been there recently. But, I realized yesterday that my focus was on MY PATH. I have allowed my field of vision to become what is in front of and ahead of me. And then, this morning, I saw this.

It’s not even all of verse 5. The rest of it says “and lean not on your own understanding”. Near impossible for me to be honest. But the focus of this verse is on the first part. That is when I realized it. BAM. Right between the eyes.

TRUST IN THE LORD. Let me repeat that. TRUST IN THE LORD. Again. TRUST IN THE LORD. Nothing else. See, my focus has been partially trusting God and partially trying to keep a hand on things. Huh-uh. That’s not what He wants. TRUST IN THE LORD. Nothing else because He wants it all. Just close my eyes, focus on Him, and walk. That’s it. You can do it too.

Push aside the distractions and FOCUS on Him. You’re welcome.

Grandmommy and Jesus

When my Grandmother passed away in 2005, it was a hard day for my family and I. You see, to us, she was more than just a Grandmother, a Mother or a Patriarch of the family. She was the person that we all revolved around. Pauline Miriam Hinds Higley was our source of guidance and stability. When we were down, she lifted us up with comfort and wisdom.

She would not have claimed any of that because she was a humble woman of God. She loved Jesus and it was obvious to everyone around her. Jesus knows it too.

But anyone who knew her would tell you the same things that I am telling you. Even her high school yearbook picture was captioned “Never too busy to smile”.

And to me, Grandmommy was the person who I went to when I felt like I was losing my way. There was nobody as dependable as she was when it came to giving me sound advice. She was larger than life to me. She seemed invincible.

Most of all, she taught me how to love other people in a way that seems to be a lost art in the world. I have encountered very few people who were as loving and giving of themselves as she was. The love that she instilled in me and the example that both her and my Grandfather showed me as a couple will never be forgotten. They were husband and wife for over 60 years. I hope to have that same kind of love and dedication in a marriage relationship one day.

I said all of this to tell you about how lost I felt the day of her funeral. The person whom I relied on and looked up to the most in my life was gone from sight. I can never hear her voice or see her smile on this earth again. I miss her terribly every single day. I am holding back tears as I am writing this now.

And because of that, I can relate to how the disciples, relatives and followers of Jesus must have felt after He died on the cross and his body was placed in the tomb.

Everything they had begun to build their life upon at that point was gone in an instant.

Some of them had quit their jobs to follow Him. Some had left their Mother and Father because they believed in Him. They sacrificed their own dreams and hopes to follow a man who they believed to be The Messiah as promised in God’s Word. They were just beginning to understand why this man named Jesus came into their lives.

And then He was gone that Friday.

I can imagine how lost they felt. How scared they were that they might not be able to go on. I had those same feelings when Grandmommy passed away. Now what? They had followed Jesus for two or three years and dedicated their whole lives to his ideas and teachings. They were still hungry for more and never imagined that it would end so abruptly. Jesus was larger than life to them. He seemed invincible…until that Friday.

All hope seemed lost for those first two days. And to make matters worse, they were afraid that they might meet the same fate as Jesus did. Afraid and alone for those two days.

And then something changed. Something that nobody expected to happen….but God. On the third day, Jesus walked out of that tomb and changed history forever. Those people who had depended on and followed Him for the few years suddenly had new hope and excitement. In the coming days, they would realize that they were not lost, but found.

And because of the resurrection of Jesus, so am I. And so is Grandmommy, who I know that I will get to see again. I can hardly wait.

Happy Easter from my heart to yours.

“He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears
 from all faces;
He will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth. The Lord has spoken.” – Isaiah 25:8

Mustard Seeds and Mountains

Jesus replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

What is your mountain right now? What is in your way that is keeping you from moving forward and claiming the blessings that God has already given you? What is that “one thing” that seems so big and so overwhelming, that you can’t see a way around it?  Maybe it is a dead end job that keeps you from serving God the way you want to. Maybe it is a toxic relationship that has become a distraction for you. Maybe it is not managing your finances right which prevents you from tithing properly. Maybe you feel a lack of self esteem from past relationships.  But God says “You don’t have to find a way around it! If it is in the way, move it and it is going to completely move out of the way!” TELL IT AND KEEP TELLING IT TO MOVE AND LEAVE!!!

You say to that mountain “Get out of my way! I have a blessing on the other side waiting for me! Every day that I am trying to figure out how to get around you, I’m missing out on what God has already given me because YOU ARE IN MY WAY! MOVE FROM HERE TO THERE AND GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

You don’t have to wait on God to move that mountain for you. God told YOU to tell that mountain yourself. He wants YOU to do it! It doesn’t take very much trust. JUST DO IT!

Chocolate Soldiers and Snot Rags

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, my Dad took me with him on a ride somewhere. I can’t really remember where we were going, but I do recall that it was a very long way and part of the route crossed a very desolate area of Oklahoma. There weren’t many towns along this route and so there weren’t many places to stop. I was getting to the point of no return with my bladder and kept telling my Dad that I needed to go.

Finally, we could see a gas station in the distance. It was the only building for miles, so we stopped.

I rushed in and asked the attendant where the bathroom was. It was outside and he had to get a key for me. I made it just in time and it seemed like the stream would never go dry, if you know what I mean. Finally I was able to flush the toilet and wash my hands before returning the key. As I laid the key down, I noticed a pop machine. What caught my attention was a drink called “Chocolate Soldier”. It was a lot like a “Yoohoo” drink is today. Sort of a chocolate milk drink without real milk in it. It was by far my favorite drink and I could down one in 15 seconds flat.

So, I asked my Dad for a dime (yes, 10 whole cents) to buy one. He was glad to give it to me. The bottle had one of those caps on it that didn’t twist off. You used a bottle opener to pry it off, which I did. As I was about to take my first sip of it, my Dad suddenly stopped me. “Let me look at that,” he said. I handed it to him and he noticed a small chip out of the top of the bottle. “Better not drink that one. That broken piece of glass could be inside the bottle and I don’t want you to swallow it and hurt you We better get you another one.”

He went back to the machine, looked at it, and turned to look at me. “That was the last Chocolate Soldier, ” he said. I was about to cry. I began to reason with him that it would be OK to drink that one. But, he wasn’t about to let me take that chance of swallowing broken glass. I was so sad and disappointed.

My Dad always had a solution for everything, but this time he was out of options. I was already sniffling as we were walking out of the store, when he stopped me. “I have an idea,” he said. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. “We can place this over the top of the bottle and it will act as a filter. You can still drink the Chocolate Soldier and if the glass in in there, the handkerchief will keep it from passing through.” Einstein had nothing on my Dad.

As he pulled his the handkerchief out of his pocket, I noticed some spots and colors other than white on it. You see, my Dad had very bad allergy problems and used that snot rag quite a bit. Ewww…

So, here was my dilemma. I either let my Dad throw away the bottle of Chocolate Soldier or I drink it through the well used handkerchief.

You see sometimes, in our lives, we have to make tough choices.  There are things that we really want and long for and we may have to go through some hard and uncomfortable trials to get to what we desire. In other words, what are you willing to do or go through, to have what you are believing God for?

I have come to a place in my life where I am entering a new level of trust in God. I have never really been to this place before. It is somewhat uncomfortable and it scares me a little. In other words, I am at the place where if I want to go ahead with the plans and desires in my life right now, I have two choices: Either 1) I turn back and risk losing something that could be wonderful or 2) I trust God with it completely. I don’t mean just a little bit. I mean drop it square in His lap and say “I believe that you have placed a blessing in my life. If you want to give me the desires of my heart like you have said in your Word, You are going to have to make it happen. I will delight in you no matter what.” (Psalm 37:4)

It is a new chapter in my life because honestly, I haven’t always felt that way nor had that much trust in anyone or anything. I have had my share of heartaches and disappointments and have also made my own bad decisions.

For a very long time, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

But, that was never how I really felt. I just never told anyone that.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”

Nope. When I am afraid, I get upset and try to either run away or do or say something stupid to try change the outcome. I wanted control of what I wanted. I wanted it now and I didn’t want to be disappointed or hurt. So, I got impatient and tried to force the issue to either make it happen or get it over with. That is the honest truth.

I have finally realized that if I want a different outcome, I have to change the way I approach it. I would have to transfer  MY control to someone whom I know has my best interest in mind….God. Without a doubt, I know that He wants the very best for me. It may not be what I expect or picture, but it is perfect for Michael Paul Higley. Just like my own Dad had my best interest in mind by wanting to take away the Chocolate Soldier. He only wanted to protect me.

It is going to be difficult and uncomfortable at times, but the rewards can be unimaginable!

I did not learn this on my own. God has sent many people into my life to get this through my thick skull and give me confidence to reach this new level of trust with God.

So, my prayer has become this…

Teach me, O God, to rely on and trust You. Teach me to rebuke the spirit of fear because I know that it is not of You. Teach me to let go and simply delight in you every day and you will give me the desires of my heart.

Let go. Let God.

p.s. – Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering…..that Chocolate Soldier was really good!

Lifesaving 101

When I was a Boy Scout in my early teen years, one of the requirements was to learn lifesaving techniques. There was a merit badge for it and it was needed to move up in the ranks. I eventually achieved the Eagle Scout award.

I was at Scout camp and  one of the requirements was to learn how to save someone who was drowning. This was really stressful to me because I did not swim that well (I still can’t) and was afraid of getting in water that was too deep. Especially in water where I could not see the bottom.

One of the counselors was about 150′ feet away from shore in this lake at our camp. He was thrashing in the water, pretending to be drowning. My job was to swim out to him, spin him around, wrap my arm around his chest and swim back to shore with one arm. It looked easy enough as I watched the other Scouts do it with no problem.

But, what I did not know is that my “victim” had decided to be as realistic as possible. He was flailing in the water more. He was screaming like he was really drowning. And he pretended to go under every few seconds. My leader encouraged me to get to him as fast as possible, so I ran to the water and began swimming as soon as it was deep enough.

I was a slow swimmer so it took me longer to get there. When I finally did, I told him to turn around and lie on his back. He continued to act like he was in a panic.

What happened next was something I was not expecting. As soon as I reached for him to turn him around, he grabbed me and pushed me under water. I got away and popped back up but did not have a chance to get some air before it happened, so I was gasping as my head rose above the water.

Playing the drowning victim, the counselor once again grabbed my head and pushed me under again. This time, I was the one who panicked. As I went under the surface, I gasped and swallowed water and I knew at that moment that I was in trouble. He continued to hold my head under water and as I tried to push away from him. And at that very moment, out of pure instinct, I did the only thing that I thought would help me. I kicked. I kicked him. I kicked him right in the crotch. I kicked him right in the crotch very, very hard. He let go.

As I pushed away, my head finally surfaced and I was coughing and spitting water. I began to back pedal to get away from him and back to shore and as I did, I could hear him moaning. What I didn’t realize was that he was not concerned with grabbing me anymore. His only concern was to save himself at this point. Obviously, he was in a lot of pain. I had no problem with that.

I paddled back to where I could at least stand up, coughing badly the whole way. As I walked up on shore, I was met by the Scout leader. I thought I had failed.

“What happened out there son?”, he said.

I replied, “He tried to drown me so I had to get away from him, sir”. I really thought I had failed.

“Then you did the right thing”, he said. “If you cannot save the person in the water, don’t let him drown both of you. Do whatever it takes to get away from him. You have earned your merit badge.”

********************************

As Christians, we have a natural tendency to want to help other people in need. That is the heart of Jesus, full of compassion and love. But sometimes the person we may be trying to help or rescue will pull us under as well, leaving us gasping and trying to get our head above water. Once we have started helping, we feel obligated to see them through. And by doing this, we are making them dependent on us to the point to where we can be taken advantage of.

We want to hang on and we want to help them, but sometimes we risk drowning ourselves. We have to know when to push away and save ourselves.

And, if we hang on longer than we should, our relationship with God begins to suffer. It happens slowly so that it doesn’t seem painful at first, but it is still slowly drowning us.

This applies to many types of relationships. The desire to help the drug addict or alcoholic who will not take the steps to help themselves. The adult children who constantly expect help from their parents and get upset when the parents are barely getting by themselves. A co-dependent relationship that pushes a person to the point to where one of them feels as if they are drowning.

It is the same way with distractions in our lives or anything that takes us away from our relationship with God. One of my very best friends sends me texts some mornings with encouraging words from God. She is one of the most faithful and dependable prayer warriors I know. I always know when I have gotten a text from her because it will be 4 or 5 texts in a row, almost like an alarm going off!

This morning, she sent me this: “Give Him praise today and let go of everything that keeps you from focusing on Him!!! Let the chains fall and just give Him praise for what God wants to do in you!! Relinquish all that keeps us bound and let us be free in Him!”

When we completely focus on God, free from distractions, we are prevented from being pulled under and can swim safely to shore.

Let go and let God!

 

My First Car

I did not own a car until my Senior year at Shawnee High School in Oklahoma.

I got to drive my Mom’s car or I rode with friends. My Mom had a 1970 Dodge Charger when I turned 16, so that was a bonus.

So, my Senior year in high school, my Dad helped me finance a used car so that I would have something to drive to college that fall.

 

I didn’t care what kind of car it was as long as it was mine. So, we bought a 1970 AMC Gremlin, with the same 6 cylinder engine used in Jeeps. A Gremlin looks like a chopped off station wagon. It was a standard transmission so I had to learn to drive a stick shift. 

I drove that ugly car back and forth to Seminole State College five days a week for 2 years. I put a lot of miles on it and that car took a beating. I think I tried to run it into the ground because I thought if I did, my Dad would help me buy another car. I wanted to get rid of that car so bad. Believe it or not, I actually got dates even though I drove a Gremlin. It was one of those “it’s so ugly that it’s cute” cars.

About a month before I was supposed to graduate from college, my Dad sat me down and said “Mike, I am really proud of you for following through and getting your degree. And because of that, I am going to buy you another car.” I was shocked and really excited! “On your last day of classes, it will be sitting behnd the house,” he said.
FINALLY!!! I was going to get rid of the Gremlin forever! That rattle trap was going to be somebody else’s headache. What kind of car would it be? What color would it be? A Camaro? A Firebird? A Mustang? I would have settled for a Dodge Dart.
So, that last day of class I was watching the clock all through every class, especially the last one. All I could think about was getting rid of the Gremlin and seeing the new car I was going to be greeted by when I got to the back of the house.

As soon as that last class was over, I walked briskly to the parking lot. I started the car and took off a lot faster than I normally do. What usually took 35 minutes to drive only took me 20 that day.

As I pulled up in front of the house, I had the door open before I even turned the key off. I took off running down the long gravel driveway toward the back of the house. As I rounded the corner, I saw my Dad standing there smiling proudly because he knew how excited I was to finally get another car. I looked him in the eyes briefly before I saw it. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Parked there in front of me was a tan 1975………..AMC Gremlin. Yes. A Gremlin.

I looked at my Dad and saw the big smile on his face and all I could do was give him a smile back and say “Thanks Dad”. He had no idea that I was disappointed in the car he chose and I wasn’t about to let him know.
You see, I got exactly what I wanted…a different car than what I already had. But, when I got exactly what I wanted, it did not look like what I had in my mind. I soon learned to love that car and created a lot of good memories in it.

Sometimes when we begin to pray for something that we desire a lot, we pray for the most important things. The things that we desire the most. Its just that when those prayers are answered, it doesn’t always look like what we expected it to.

A father prays that his little girl is cured of cancer, hoping that she will just get up and walk out of the hospital. Instead, God heals her by taking her to Heaven with Him, completely healed forever. It is what the Dad prayed for….just not the way he had in mind.

The single mother, broken from divorce, begins to pray for a Godly man who will sit in church with her, who will support her dreams, who will take care of her financially and emotionally and will love her children like his own. And God sends her exactly what she prayed for, but he doesn’t look exactly like what she expected.

You see, God really does give us the desires of our hearts. But He also gives us ways to protect us. The answered prayer doesn’t always look like what we expected, but He always gives us what He knows is best for us. It is up to us whether we reject what He gives us and go find something else. Or, we can look at our Father with a smile and thank Him for giving us exactly what we asked for.

Rumble Strips and Road Rage

I have several pet peeves when I am on the road in my car. I am a borderline “Road Rage” driver and don’t tolerate other inconsiderate drivers very well. After all, I have a right. I made an “A+” in drivers ed and scored a 100 on my written test. I am driving school royalty, right? Not really. I’m not that bad.

It’s just that other people need to stay out of my way when I’m trying to get somewhere. Go the speed limit or go home.

But one of the things that really annoys me is not about other drivers. It is those nerve-racking rumble strips that they put on the side of the road.

You know, those bumps that they carved into the asphalt to wake you up if you stray too far to the right out of your lane. They also let me know that I have drifted too far right when I text and drive (just kidding. I don’t do that….often). But texting while you drive is definitely a distraction and unsafe. In other words, when I get out of line driving, those bumps are there to let me know so I can straighten back up. They are there to protect me.

Psalm 139:23-24 says this:

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

There have been times in my life when I have gotten away from God and didn’t even realize it. I have drifted from him to the right. And, it is always because I have taken my focus off of Him. I have had other distractions to get in the way as well. Relationships. Social media. Finances.

But, when that happens, God lets me know. He has his own “rumble strip” to let me know that I have drifted right and am out of line. And when He does, I usually want to correct it. If I don’t listen to Him and do what I want anyway, I am headed toward eventual danger. I might not see it, but it is there.

This prayer in those verses keeps me from danger. “Father, search me and test me. Show me where I have let you down. I don’t want to disappoint you. Show me the way you want me to go. I want to follow the path you have planned for my life. Amen”

The Downy Ball is Amazing

So, I just discovered something that has been around a while. It might not seem much to you, but it is remarkable to me.

It’s called the Downy Ball.                                               All this time, I have been doing my laundry in a washing machine (or in this part of Oklahoma, its called a “warsher”) which does not have the little tray to pour your fabric softener in. I either poured the fabric softener in when I started the machine or had to wait until the rinse cycle started. I normally forget when its time for that. Basically, I was wasting fabric softener.

As I was talking to a friend today, I was told that I could use a little device called a fabric softener ball. “A what?”, I said. It seems that most women use these for the very same reason I needed one. My washer does not have one of those trays to pour the softener in before I was my clothes. She said that you just pour the softener into the ball, close it, and throw it into the washer. When it is time for the rinse cycle, the ball releases the fabric softener into the water.

I began to wonder how it did that. Now, if you know me, you know that I won’t just trust when someone says that it just magically releases the softener at the right time. I want to know HOW it releases it at the right time. I know that there isn’t some amphibious gremlin inside of that little ball that opens it when its time. Everyone knows that gremlins don’t like water.

So, being the curious person, I am, I asked my best friend, Google, how it worked. He did not disappoint me.

I’ll try to translate the science part as best as I can. But, for the geeky part, the Downy Ball uses Newton’s first law of motion, which is…”An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force”

Now, in simpler words….Once the ball is filled with fabric softener, you pull the cap which seals the hole where you poured the softener in. Now the ball will float when there is water, and rest on the bottom when there is not. The softener stays sealed inside.

Once the wash cycle is finished and the spin cycle begins, the ball is forced against the side of the washer tub. There is a weight attached to the lid on the inside. The force of the washer spinning causes that weight to be pulled toward the edge of the washer and pops the lid open. After the spin cycle is through, the ball falls to the bottom, the softener spills out and as the rinse cycle begins, the rinse water also fills the ball and mixes the softener with the water. Boom. Amazing. The best part is that it is less than $3!

Why didn’t I think of that?

You know, God’s timing is a lot like the Downy Ball. Sometimes it is hard to understand how it works, but it always does. And, it is always at the perfect time. Never early. Never late.

But unlike the Downy Ball, I tend to want to hurry up God’s timing when I want something to happen in my life. I want to open the washer lid and take the ball out and open it to pour it in before its ready. The only thing about doing it that way is that I would just waste the softener. It wouldn’t soften the clothes because it is supposed to do that during the rinse cycle. That is why you just throw it in the washer and forget about it. It will do its job.

It is the same way I have tried to hurry things in my life and ended up wasting chances or ruining what could have been really good if I had just trusted God.

God has a perfect plan for your life. Let him seal it up until it is time to open it and release the blessings that you have coming.

A life of his own

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV)

The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your propertywith prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

When I was 11 years old, I lived with my Dad, my sister and brother in a small two-bedroom apartment. My parents had just separated at the time. We lived in a poor part of the Dallas/Fort Worth area where we were actually a minority in the neighborhood. Because of the size of our home, we took turns sleeping with my Dad in his bed and one of us usually had to sleep on the living room sofa.

Living in such small quarters could be hard sometimes and cause friction between us. It didn’t help that my Father was forced to be a single parent all at once. One cold and wintery evening I had had enough. I didn’t like the rules my Dad had set down. I was angry and decided it was time that I left home and ventured out on my own.

Like I had seen in books I read and on various television shows, I just needed a stick and a cloth bag of some kind to put all my stuff in. At 11 years old, I really didn’t own much “stuff” other than some clothes and toys. Toys always overruled clothes. I took a towel, filled it, and tied it to my stick.

My Dad opened the door for me and told me goodbye and to be sure and write when I got to where I was going. As he shut the door behind me, I immediately realized how alone I was and  how cold it was outside. I knew that it was below freezing because there was ice on the sidewalk.

I bundled up and began my journey into the dark, across the grounds of the apartment complex. As I crossed a parking lot, I walked past our station wagon and thought about all of the good times we had making family trips. After walking toward another part of the complex, I came to the playground. I could see shadows of other people there and they were talking. I was afraid to make eye contact and kept my head down.

As I came to the basketball court, I did not realize that it was covered with ice. My first step let me know how slippery it was. Immediately, my feet went out from under me and at once I was on my back in pain and the wind knocked out of me. As I struggled to breathe, I heard people laughing and I was embarrassed.

After I stood back up and gathered my “stuff”, I made the decision to abort my journey and go back home. In fact, I ran back home and was greeted at the door by my Dad who had been watching for me to come back. “You made it back just in time”, he said. “I was just making hot chocolate.” It was nice to be in my warm home again with the people I love.

Much like the Father in The Prodigal Son, my Dad understood that I needed to learn on my own, even at 11 years old. I was stubborn (and still am). He knew that he would have to just watch me pack my stuff and walk away in order for me to come back to him.

You see, when you love someone, sometimes you just have to let them go. Sometimes you have to love them from a distance. Sometimes, you just have to have faith in God, that He will make a way for them to return to you. Sometimes, you just have to stop trying to protect them and let them protect themselves. Sometimes you have to stop praying for God to bring them back to you and just pray that He protects them until they come back. Sometimes it’s not about what you want. It’s about what they need. It’s about what God wants to do in their life.

When we watch someone we love going in a direction we know they shouldn’t, our first thought is to go after them or steer them in the right direction or tell them that they are going the wrong way. And many times, it just pushes them farther away.

Let’s look at the Dad in the verses above. In the Prodigal Son, the Dad had to watch his child make a self-destructive choice. His son decided to do what he wanted, take everything he had coming to him and run off with it to do as he pleased. Dad could have said no. He could have not given the son his inheritance and let him go. Or, he could have gone after him.  He asked no questions, just gave him what he wanted and watched his son walk away.

Now the son….he really thought he was doing the right thing. Tried to justify his actions and had an answer to every reason why he should not leave. But, he didn’t care enough about how it affected anyone else. You see, the son put himself and his own feelings over his family and friends. He began to compare himself to others who had more. He began to shut everyone else out, including his own family.

Finally, after making these choices, the son realized that he was in a place that he never thought he would be. Homeless and broke. And he began to realize how good he had it when he was home. But, he was so ashamed that he really thought nobody would take him back.

What he did not realize was that there was someone who loved him unconditionally. Someone, who despite all the hurt caused, was looking for him to come back. Someone who the son never thought would take him back after all that had happened. The son thought it was too late.

He was wrong. Because no matter how long it took, that someone was looking and waiting every single day for his son to return. It is what he had prayed and begged and cried for…every single day.