Chocolate Soldiers and Snot Rags

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, my Dad took me with him on a ride somewhere. I can’t really remember where we were going, but I do recall that it was a very long way and part of the route crossed a very desolate area of Oklahoma. There weren’t many towns along this route and so there weren’t many places to stop. I was getting to the point of no return with my bladder and kept telling my Dad that I needed to go.

Finally, we could see a gas station in the distance. It was the only building for miles, so we stopped.

I rushed in and asked the attendant where the bathroom was. It was outside and he had to get a key for me. I made it just in time and it seemed like the stream would never go dry, if you know what I mean. Finally I was able to flush the toilet and wash my hands before returning the key. As I laid the key down, I noticed a pop machine. What caught my attention was a drink called “Chocolate Soldier”. It was a lot like a “Yoohoo” drink is today. Sort of a chocolate milk drink without real milk in it. It was by far my favorite drink and I could down one in 15 seconds flat.

So, I asked my Dad for a dime (yes, 10 whole cents) to buy one. He was glad to give it to me. The bottle had one of those caps on it that didn’t twist off. You used a bottle opener to pry it off, which I did. As I was about to take my first sip of it, my Dad suddenly stopped me. “Let me look at that,” he said. I handed it to him and he noticed a small chip out of the top of the bottle. “Better not drink that one. That broken piece of glass could be inside the bottle and I don’t want you to swallow it and hurt you We better get you another one.”

He went back to the machine, looked at it, and turned to look at me. “That was the last Chocolate Soldier, ” he said. I was about to cry. I began to reason with him that it would be OK to drink that one. But, he wasn’t about to let me take that chance of swallowing broken glass. I was so sad and disappointed.

My Dad always had a solution for everything, but this time he was out of options. I was already sniffling as we were walking out of the store, when he stopped me. “I have an idea,” he said. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. “We can place this over the top of the bottle and it will act as a filter. You can still drink the Chocolate Soldier and if the glass in in there, the handkerchief will keep it from passing through.” Einstein had nothing on my Dad.

As he pulled his the handkerchief out of his pocket, I noticed some spots and colors other than white on it. You see, my Dad had very bad allergy problems and used that snot rag quite a bit. Ewww…

So, here was my dilemma. I either let my Dad throw away the bottle of Chocolate Soldier or I drink it through the well used handkerchief.

You see sometimes, in our lives, we have to make tough choices.  There are things that we really want and long for and we may have to go through some hard and uncomfortable trials to get to what we desire. In other words, what are you willing to do or go through, to have what you are believing God for?

I have come to a place in my life where I am entering a new level of trust in God. I have never really been to this place before. It is somewhat uncomfortable and it scares me a little. In other words, I am at the place where if I want to go ahead with the plans and desires in my life right now, I have two choices: Either 1) I turn back and risk losing something that could be wonderful or 2) I trust God with it completely. I don’t mean just a little bit. I mean drop it square in His lap and say “I believe that you have placed a blessing in my life. If you want to give me the desires of my heart like you have said in your Word, You are going to have to make it happen. I will delight in you no matter what.” (Psalm 37:4)

It is a new chapter in my life because honestly, I haven’t always felt that way nor had that much trust in anyone or anything. I have had my share of heartaches and disappointments and have also made my own bad decisions.

For a very long time, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

But, that was never how I really felt. I just never told anyone that.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”

Nope. When I am afraid, I get upset and try to either run away or do or say something stupid to try change the outcome. I wanted control of what I wanted. I wanted it now and I didn’t want to be disappointed or hurt. So, I got impatient and tried to force the issue to either make it happen or get it over with. That is the honest truth.

I have finally realized that if I want a different outcome, I have to change the way I approach it. I would have to transfer  MY control to someone whom I know has my best interest in mind….God. Without a doubt, I know that He wants the very best for me. It may not be what I expect or picture, but it is perfect for Michael Paul Higley. Just like my own Dad had my best interest in mind by wanting to take away the Chocolate Soldier. He only wanted to protect me.

It is going to be difficult and uncomfortable at times, but the rewards can be unimaginable!

I did not learn this on my own. God has sent many people into my life to get this through my thick skull and give me confidence to reach this new level of trust with God.

So, my prayer has become this…

Teach me, O God, to rely on and trust You. Teach me to rebuke the spirit of fear because I know that it is not of You. Teach me to let go and simply delight in you every day and you will give me the desires of my heart.

Let go. Let God.

p.s. – Oh, and by the way, in case you were wondering…..that Chocolate Soldier was really good!

Lifesaving 101

When I was a Boy Scout in my early teen years, one of the requirements was to learn lifesaving techniques. There was a merit badge for it and it was needed to move up in the ranks. I eventually achieved the Eagle Scout award.

I was at Scout camp and  one of the requirements was to learn how to save someone who was drowning. This was really stressful to me because I did not swim that well (I still can’t) and was afraid of getting in water that was too deep. Especially in water where I could not see the bottom.

One of the counselors was about 150′ feet away from shore in this lake at our camp. He was thrashing in the water, pretending to be drowning. My job was to swim out to him, spin him around, wrap my arm around his chest and swim back to shore with one arm. It looked easy enough as I watched the other Scouts do it with no problem.

But, what I did not know is that my “victim” had decided to be as realistic as possible. He was flailing in the water more. He was screaming like he was really drowning. And he pretended to go under every few seconds. My leader encouraged me to get to him as fast as possible, so I ran to the water and began swimming as soon as it was deep enough.

I was a slow swimmer so it took me longer to get there. When I finally did, I told him to turn around and lie on his back. He continued to act like he was in a panic.

What happened next was something I was not expecting. As soon as I reached for him to turn him around, he grabbed me and pushed me under water. I got away and popped back up but did not have a chance to get some air before it happened, so I was gasping as my head rose above the water.

Playing the drowning victim, the counselor once again grabbed my head and pushed me under again. This time, I was the one who panicked. As I went under the surface, I gasped and swallowed water and I knew at that moment that I was in trouble. He continued to hold my head under water and as I tried to push away from him. And at that very moment, out of pure instinct, I did the only thing that I thought would help me. I kicked. I kicked him. I kicked him right in the crotch. I kicked him right in the crotch very, very hard. He let go.

As I pushed away, my head finally surfaced and I was coughing and spitting water. I began to back pedal to get away from him and back to shore and as I did, I could hear him moaning. What I didn’t realize was that he was not concerned with grabbing me anymore. His only concern was to save himself at this point. Obviously, he was in a lot of pain. I had no problem with that.

I paddled back to where I could at least stand up, coughing badly the whole way. As I walked up on shore, I was met by the Scout leader. I thought I had failed.

“What happened out there son?”, he said.

I replied, “He tried to drown me so I had to get away from him, sir”. I really thought I had failed.

“Then you did the right thing”, he said. “If you cannot save the person in the water, don’t let him drown both of you. Do whatever it takes to get away from him. You have earned your merit badge.”

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As Christians, we have a natural tendency to want to help other people in need. That is the heart of Jesus, full of compassion and love. But sometimes the person we may be trying to help or rescue will pull us under as well, leaving us gasping and trying to get our head above water. Once we have started helping, we feel obligated to see them through. And by doing this, we are making them dependent on us to the point to where we can be taken advantage of.

We want to hang on and we want to help them, but sometimes we risk drowning ourselves. We have to know when to push away and save ourselves.

And, if we hang on longer than we should, our relationship with God begins to suffer. It happens slowly so that it doesn’t seem painful at first, but it is still slowly drowning us.

This applies to many types of relationships. The desire to help the drug addict or alcoholic who will not take the steps to help themselves. The adult children who constantly expect help from their parents and get upset when the parents are barely getting by themselves. A co-dependent relationship that pushes a person to the point to where one of them feels as if they are drowning.

It is the same way with distractions in our lives or anything that takes us away from our relationship with God. One of my very best friends sends me texts some mornings with encouraging words from God. She is one of the most faithful and dependable prayer warriors I know. I always know when I have gotten a text from her because it will be 4 or 5 texts in a row, almost like an alarm going off!

This morning, she sent me this: “Give Him praise today and let go of everything that keeps you from focusing on Him!!! Let the chains fall and just give Him praise for what God wants to do in you!! Relinquish all that keeps us bound and let us be free in Him!”

When we completely focus on God, free from distractions, we are prevented from being pulled under and can swim safely to shore.

Let go and let God!

 

My First Car

I did not own a car until my Senior year at Shawnee High School in Oklahoma.

I got to drive my Mom’s car or I rode with friends. My Mom had a 1970 Dodge Charger when I turned 16, so that was a bonus.

So, my Senior year in high school, my Dad helped me finance a used car so that I would have something to drive to college that fall.

 

I didn’t care what kind of car it was as long as it was mine. So, we bought a 1970 AMC Gremlin, with the same 6 cylinder engine used in Jeeps. A Gremlin looks like a chopped off station wagon. It was a standard transmission so I had to learn to drive a stick shift. 

I drove that ugly car back and forth to Seminole State College five days a week for 2 years. I put a lot of miles on it and that car took a beating. I think I tried to run it into the ground because I thought if I did, my Dad would help me buy another car. I wanted to get rid of that car so bad. Believe it or not, I actually got dates even though I drove a Gremlin. It was one of those “it’s so ugly that it’s cute” cars.

About a month before I was supposed to graduate from college, my Dad sat me down and said “Mike, I am really proud of you for following through and getting your degree. And because of that, I am going to buy you another car.” I was shocked and really excited! “On your last day of classes, it will be sitting behnd the house,” he said.
FINALLY!!! I was going to get rid of the Gremlin forever! That rattle trap was going to be somebody else’s headache. What kind of car would it be? What color would it be? A Camaro? A Firebird? A Mustang? I would have settled for a Dodge Dart.
So, that last day of class I was watching the clock all through every class, especially the last one. All I could think about was getting rid of the Gremlin and seeing the new car I was going to be greeted by when I got to the back of the house.

As soon as that last class was over, I walked briskly to the parking lot. I started the car and took off a lot faster than I normally do. What usually took 35 minutes to drive only took me 20 that day.

As I pulled up in front of the house, I had the door open before I even turned the key off. I took off running down the long gravel driveway toward the back of the house. As I rounded the corner, I saw my Dad standing there smiling proudly because he knew how excited I was to finally get another car. I looked him in the eyes briefly before I saw it. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Parked there in front of me was a tan 1975………..AMC Gremlin. Yes. A Gremlin.

I looked at my Dad and saw the big smile on his face and all I could do was give him a smile back and say “Thanks Dad”. He had no idea that I was disappointed in the car he chose and I wasn’t about to let him know.
You see, I got exactly what I wanted…a different car than what I already had. But, when I got exactly what I wanted, it did not look like what I had in my mind. I soon learned to love that car and created a lot of good memories in it.

Sometimes when we begin to pray for something that we desire a lot, we pray for the most important things. The things that we desire the most. Its just that when those prayers are answered, it doesn’t always look like what we expected it to.

A father prays that his little girl is cured of cancer, hoping that she will just get up and walk out of the hospital. Instead, God heals her by taking her to Heaven with Him, completely healed forever. It is what the Dad prayed for….just not the way he had in mind.

The single mother, broken from divorce, begins to pray for a Godly man who will sit in church with her, who will support her dreams, who will take care of her financially and emotionally and will love her children like his own. And God sends her exactly what she prayed for, but he doesn’t look exactly like what she expected.

You see, God really does give us the desires of our hearts. But He also gives us ways to protect us. The answered prayer doesn’t always look like what we expected, but He always gives us what He knows is best for us. It is up to us whether we reject what He gives us and go find something else. Or, we can look at our Father with a smile and thank Him for giving us exactly what we asked for.