A life of his own

Luke 15:11-32 (NIV)

The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your propertywith prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

When I was 11 years old, I lived with my Dad, my sister and brother in a small two-bedroom apartment. My parents had just separated at the time. We lived in a poor part of the Dallas/Fort Worth area where we were actually a minority in the neighborhood. Because of the size of our home, we took turns sleeping with my Dad in his bed and one of us usually had to sleep on the living room sofa.

Living in such small quarters could be hard sometimes and cause friction between us. It didn’t help that my Father was forced to be a single parent all at once. One cold and wintery evening I had had enough. I didn’t like the rules my Dad had set down. I was angry and decided it was time that I left home and ventured out on my own.

Like I had seen in books I read and on various television shows, I just needed a stick and a cloth bag of some kind to put all my stuff in. At 11 years old, I really didn’t own much “stuff” other than some clothes and toys. Toys always overruled clothes. I took a towel, filled it, and tied it to my stick.

My Dad opened the door for me and told me goodbye and to be sure and write when I got to where I was going. As he shut the door behind me, I immediately realized how alone I was and  how cold it was outside. I knew that it was below freezing because there was ice on the sidewalk.

I bundled up and began my journey into the dark, across the grounds of the apartment complex. As I crossed a parking lot, I walked past our station wagon and thought about all of the good times we had making family trips. After walking toward another part of the complex, I came to the playground. I could see shadows of other people there and they were talking. I was afraid to make eye contact and kept my head down.

As I came to the basketball court, I did not realize that it was covered with ice. My first step let me know how slippery it was. Immediately, my feet went out from under me and at once I was on my back in pain and the wind knocked out of me. As I struggled to breathe, I heard people laughing and I was embarrassed.

After I stood back up and gathered my “stuff”, I made the decision to abort my journey and go back home. In fact, I ran back home and was greeted at the door by my Dad who had been watching for me to come back. “You made it back just in time”, he said. “I was just making hot chocolate.” It was nice to be in my warm home again with the people I love.

Much like the Father in The Prodigal Son, my Dad understood that I needed to learn on my own, even at 11 years old. I was stubborn (and still am). He knew that he would have to just watch me pack my stuff and walk away in order for me to come back to him.

You see, when you love someone, sometimes you just have to let them go. Sometimes you have to love them from a distance. Sometimes, you just have to have faith in God, that He will make a way for them to return to you. Sometimes, you just have to stop trying to protect them and let them protect themselves. Sometimes you have to stop praying for God to bring them back to you and just pray that He protects them until they come back. Sometimes it’s not about what you want. It’s about what they need. It’s about what God wants to do in their life.

When we watch someone we love going in a direction we know they shouldn’t, our first thought is to go after them or steer them in the right direction or tell them that they are going the wrong way. And many times, it just pushes them farther away.

Let’s look at the Dad in the verses above. In the Prodigal Son, the Dad had to watch his child make a self-destructive choice. His son decided to do what he wanted, take everything he had coming to him and run off with it to do as he pleased. Dad could have said no. He could have not given the son his inheritance and let him go. Or, he could have gone after him.  He asked no questions, just gave him what he wanted and watched his son walk away.

Now the son….he really thought he was doing the right thing. Tried to justify his actions and had an answer to every reason why he should not leave. But, he didn’t care enough about how it affected anyone else. You see, the son put himself and his own feelings over his family and friends. He began to compare himself to others who had more. He began to shut everyone else out, including his own family.

Finally, after making these choices, the son realized that he was in a place that he never thought he would be. Homeless and broke. And he began to realize how good he had it when he was home. But, he was so ashamed that he really thought nobody would take him back.

What he did not realize was that there was someone who loved him unconditionally. Someone, who despite all the hurt caused, was looking for him to come back. Someone who the son never thought would take him back after all that had happened. The son thought it was too late.

He was wrong. Because no matter how long it took, that someone was looking and waiting every single day for his son to return. It is what he had prayed and begged and cried for…every single day.